Nil Desperandum
by kashirsky
Summary: Four years ago, Miyano Shiho meets Moroboshi Dai, and knows that he is bad news. But maybe he's just what her sister – and even her! – needed. [Ongoing, retrospective, eventual ShinichixShiho/ConanxAi]


**A/N:** My, my, it's been a while. A year, maybe? I remember, back when I was 12 or so, I loved churning out stories for this site. They were, as you may expect, pretty crappy, and I regret to say that they are still up on this site, as I had forgotten the passwords to my old accounts. Now I'm preparing for my final year of high school, and, added to the fact that I'm pretty sucky at writing in general, means that this story may or may not be abandoned.

(Who am I kidding though, this story's already been abandoned, seeing as I wrote this chapter last year, but hell, I'm looking for procrastination because I'd rather do anything under the sun right now than maths and chemistry.)

You didn't really want to read my ramblings, anyway (I need to get more friends srsly). So, without further adieu, I present:

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NIL DESPERANDUM  
_nothing must be despaired at_

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© All rights belong to Gosho Aoyama, the creator of Meitantei Konan/Detective Conan/Case Closed.  
kashirsky does not own anything.

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**CHAPTER ONE: A BENE PLACITO**  
_At One's Pleasure_

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-FOUR YEARS AGO-

IT'S funny, Shiho thinks contemplatively. A mysterious man suddenly appears, sweeping Akemi off her feet; he wants to meet her little sister, her only remaining family…

Shiho is thirteen, yes, but she is no fool. She may be young, but she's smart, and she's intelligent; she's wise beyond her years. There is a reason why she was given a codename in the Organisation at such a young age. She's driven, and she's determined to untangle this Moroboshi Dai - this mystery of a man. Her cool, calculating blue eyes glance down, surveying the bustling, snowy streets of Tokyo from the balcony of her sister's small apartment. The sky is colourless, grey, and she slowly breathes out, watching as her own breath blossoms out like the mists of the impending storm.

She's only here in Japan because her sister had demanded her to be so. Never mind the fact that next year, she would have graduated from university, and would move back to Japan permanently, therefore able to see her sister every day, if she so wished. Her sister had sighed when she pointed this out in a telephone call one week ago, and told her in no uncertain terms that it would be _New Year's_ soon, so she was to _take a break,_ and she was to do so_now_. As Sherry was the Organisation's glittering new child prodigy, and not actively involved in any projects at the time, her wish was her American guardians' command, and so here she was in Japan, a week later.

"Shiho?" Akemi calls out, walking into view as she shrugs on a thick, warm coat. "Come on. We'll walk to the restaurant, and you can finally meet Dai-kun. Don't tell me that you're out on the balcony again! If you're not careful, you'll catch a cold, silly!"

Shiho smiles and makes her way inside, sliding the door shut behind her. She likes the cold – it's relentlessly biting but almost calming. Kind of like herself – well, she certainly doesn't go looking for trouble. Her fiery, protective sister might be the kind of person who would, though, especially if the Organisation is involved.

The sisters exit the apartment, and Akemi locks the door securely behind Shiho.

"So who is this Moroboshi-san we're going out to lunch with?" Shiho asks softly, not liking the way Akemi's eyes brightened slightly at the sound of his name. A search of the name in the Organisation's database had yielded nothing, although Shiho, not assured, concluded that it was entirely possible the name was a fabricated pseudonym.

"I nearly ran over him," Akemi giggles, happy to tell the story again. "I drove him to hospital, and it turned out that he was fine, but I still felt so horrible and guilty that he took me out to dinner after to calm my nerves. _And_ he didn't make a lame joke like 'he was bowled over by my beauty' or something. You know, at first glance, he's cold and quiet, but he's so sweet and a total softy inside – just like you, Shiho! I think you'll get along very well with him."

Shiho frowns at being referred to as a 'total softy' – she really doesn't think that assessment was fair, considering the project that she's going work on after she graduates. Shaking her head, she turns her mind back to the issue at hand – Moroboshi Dai. "When did you two meet again?" she asks.

Akemi grins wider. "Only a week ago, but it seems like I've known him since forever." She catches sight of Shiho's deepening frown. "Oh, don't be so suspicious, Shiho! The world's not out to get you, even though you _do_ happen to be an important member of a shady organisation. Besides, you don't need to worry. You know I'll be careful!"

"See, that's why," Shiho mutters. "You're so trusting, how can I not worry?" But she sees her sister's animated face, and she smiles softly.

"Oh, look at you," Akemi pats her sister on the head affectionately. "You're worrying about me like _you're_ the older sister. When will you get your head out of your books, and give _me_ some boy trouble of your own to worry about, hmm?"

"I'm too busy," Shiho says, ducking her head to avoid her sister's hand. She doesn't mention that she's never around anyone her own age; the other university students in her classes are mostly in their twenties. She's glad that Akemi hasn't caught on to that fact yet; she doesn't want to worry her.

But she can't help but think that Moroboshi Dai will turn out to be bad, bad news indeed.

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MOROBOSHI Dai is, as her sister proclaimed, a man of a few words. Shiho notes that he has a sharp gaze, is quietly self-confident, a smoker, and lastly, he really does seem like he cares for her beloved sister. His hard, yet blank expression had softened as soon as he caught sight of Akemi.

Akemi makes the necessary introductions, and as they sit down at a table, Shiho concedes that she cannot sense any threatening aura around Moroboshi-san. She relaxes slightly, confident in her judgement which had allowed her to discern Organisation members from regular members of the public in the past. Akemi keeps the conversation going, her bright, bubbly smile infectious. Moroboshi-san is quite talkative, too – it's really just Shiho who is being stand-offish.

When Akemi stands up to go to the restroom, Shiho knows that this is her chance. As soon as she is gone, Shiho leans closer to the long-haired man, and stares at him with a hard gaze not befitting a thirteen-year-old. Her judgement or not, Akemi is her sister, her lifeline. If Moroboshi-san is using her, especially to get to Sherry, may God have mercy on his soul, because Shiho _will not_ take chances. She would prefer to have a heartbroken sister, than a dead one.

"Moroboshi –san," she pronounces, voice cold, yet soft. What she's going to say next may make it obvious to a would-be Organisation-pursuer that she is, in fact, involved, but she'll deal with it later. However, if Moroboshi Dai is actually innocent, he'll hopefully only think she is an over-protective sister. "I don't have a good feeling about you," Shiho says bluntly. "Akemi is my sister. I can't lose her. You better not give me any reason to _harm_ you, because I swear to God, I can."

Akai Shuichi regards the strawberry-blonde thirteen-year-old with more seriousness than she expects. "You'll harm me?" he repeats neutrally. "Or you'll order someone to?" His voice is equally as quiet as hers. He doesn't break the eye contact, olive green eyes staring at expressionless blue.

"I won't hurt her," Shuichi finally says, voice solemn. "I promise that I'll never hurt Akemi, as long as I live. Do you believe me?" Shuichi finds himself believing his own words. It's true – he wants to infiltrate the mysterious Organisation this Shiho-san seems to be a part of, but he firmly does not want to do so if the price was Akemi's pain. He finds himself attached to the brown-haired, bright-eyed college student, probably unwisely, and for once, he doesn't really know what he should do – but he really doesn't want to hurt Akemi, so he can safely promise Shiho-san that.

Moments pass. Something flickers in Shiho's eyes. Shuichi slowly, inconspicuously lets out a breath after Shiho nods fractionally, but he's sure that the girl's careful eyes saw the slight movement anyway.

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"It's been a pleasure to meet you, Shiho-san," Shuichi says sincerely. Shiho seems too mature, too grown-up to treated like a child, too mature to be a Shiho-_chan_, especially after her little threat, which he didn't doubt she would carry out if she had suspicions…

Shiho smiles faintly. "The pleasure's all mine, Moroboshi-san," she says quietly. "I have a feeling we will see each other again soon. Meanwhile, I hope you and nee-chan will be happy together."

Shuichi freezes up invisibly. '_I have a feeling we will see each other again soon.'_The words are innocent enough, but they seem to carry a deeper meaning. Nevertheless, he nods genially at the two sisters, says goodbye, and turns around, walking away.

Akemi beams at the sight of her sister and her new boyfriend getting along. Growing up with the Organisation never too far from her, she had thought that it would be hard to be truly happy, not with them always _there_. But now, as she bids farewell to Dai-kun and links arms with her sister, she thinks that _this_ is maybe what true happiness might feel like.

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_T.B.C._

WORD COUNT: 1,437

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**Post-A/N**: Well, the premise of this fic is 4 years before the current Detective Conan timeline, when Akai Shuichi was first introduced to Miyano Shiho and trying to infiltrate the Organisation. I mean, in my opinion, Shuichi and Shiho most likely personally knew each other at some point (or at least that's what my fangirl mind likes to think XD), but we don't get _any_ of their history in the manga.

So in this fic, I'll explore my ideas on what happened, and knowing me, I'll probably dissect everything and try to stitch it back together seamlessly, which admittedly doesn't always work… (So, do feel free to stop me.) I may also be a bit fuzzy on the exact timeline of events, so don't hesitate to correct me; otherwise, just pretend that it's the truth because this _is_ a fanfiction, no? ;)

Criticism is warmly welcomed. :D


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